Wandering the Edge
Just a Blog: A Multi-Generational Pain
Hundreds dead in 1930, millions dead in 1931-32, hundreds of thousands dead in 1937, thousands dead in 1941, in 1945 half a million displaced in 1945-50 another 700,000 displaced in 1945-47 within Poland, thousands dead beginning in 2014. Ilovaisk, Donetsk Airport, Debeltseve. (Never mind the millions who died at the hands of the Germans)
But Bucha and Irpin - these hundreds in two villages in 2022 - these somehow hurt the most. And they're probably just the beginning. But these are the ones that strike you in your heart. Those in those previous years - they were our grandparents and great-grandparents. These...these are us. These are our parents. These are our children. They broke my heart. What did they do? How were they any different? They were all probably Russian speaking. Why do this? WHY?
There's a theory out there that pain is passed on through our genetics. Post-Holodomor, for example, Ukrainians would horde food - something in us knew that we would need it to survive sooner or later. That's why every baba's pantry is filled to the brim.
This pain, this heartache, these tears, this suffering - this will be a part of us forever now. This will be a learned experience for our children and grandchildren. This will be remembered in our genes forever.
I was driving in my car today and Cranberry's "Zombie" was on - that finally broke me. I began sobbing. Not for me, but for my people - for a future that was ripped out of their lives because our neighbours don't believe we're humans. Don't believe us worthy enough for life itself. This hate of them - of their choices, of their conscious decision to turn a blind eye, their choice to believe the propaganda - that will also be with us, it will become a part of our genes, it will be transmitted to our descendants. Who, finally, will learn to live in wary cautiousness of their neighbours. Because will never forget this and we will never forgive!